Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
