he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
