i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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