Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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