i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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