Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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