Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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