I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
