So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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