So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Randomize
