If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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