I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I want to be your penis for a week.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
