Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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