part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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