recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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