That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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