So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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