After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
