One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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