Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
