$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
