I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
