atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
this hospital has no fireball
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
