please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
