these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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