is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
organizing the empties. That sober.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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