I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
