And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
