I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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