all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sext me about skeletons
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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