FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize