yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize