She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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