I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think I am morally bankrupt
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
