I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You can't just leave with hair like that
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize