is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
