take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
