Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize