It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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