My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
