Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
