dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
