The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
