so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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