You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize