He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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