Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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