Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
