she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is my gift to your gina
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
