"it" just moved
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
