He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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