That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
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Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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