I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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