i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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