I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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