im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize