She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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