Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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