Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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