umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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