Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
40s are totally the cure
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize