Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
As shirtless as possible
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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