WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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