We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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