i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My ATM looks so different sober.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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