So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
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Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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