You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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