I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've blown a few things in my day
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
