here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
